Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, June 24, 2021
Notice: Consideration. There is a “Strawberry Supermoon” tonight. You’ll want to get yer butt out within the again yard, search for, consider Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins, and provides it a wink. That’s all. [Click.]
By the Numbers:
Days ’til World Chocolate Day, celebrated as a result of on July 7, 1550 chocolate was first delivered to Europe: 13
% of People within the newest Gallup ballot, together with 95% of Democrats, who approve of President Biden’s job efficiency: 56%
% probability that fed Chair Jerome Powell says latest value spikes will quickly subside and scale back inflation to a sustainable degree: 100%
Variety of Secret Service workers who examined constructive for COVID-19 between March 1, 2020 and March 9, 2021, based on authorities data: 881
Variety of People who joined Medicaid throughout the pandemic, bringing complete enrollment to a file 80 million: 10 million
Age of Kris Kristofferson as of Tuesday: 85
Present ocean temperature off the Portland, Maine coast: 59F
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Second:
For a very long time, “conservatism” was simply one other phrase for “racist” in Texas: some have been extra well mannered than others.
I first ran throughout one other type of conservatism within the Rocky Mountains within the late 1970’s because the “Sagebrush Rebel” or “Clever Use” motion, corporate-funded anti-environmentalism.
From the start, it was all about right-wing cash—H.L. Hunt, Coors, Mellon-Scaife—that previous batty anti-New Deal cash that was at all times behind the Republican proper. They have been towards taxes on wealthy individuals and towards taxes on enterprise, didn’t need limits on air pollution, didn’t need limits on exploiting pure assets. Greed is nice, the market is God—standard sorry claptrap we have now heard for the reason that finish of the robber barons.
—From Who Let the Canines In?
Pet Pic of the Day: Water bottle comes with auto-recycle characteristic…
CHEERS to raking your individual workforce over the coals. Because the phony Republican “audit” of Maricopa County, Arizona’s 2020 ballots continues in—[checks notes]—a secluded cabin in Montana, Republicans in Michigan have launched a report on the election integrity that’s an in-your-face door slam to the conspiracy crowd:
The Republican-led Michigan Senate Oversight Committee refuted voter fraud claims made by Donald Trump, debunking claims of malfeasance within the state’s election final fall and affirming that Joe Biden was victorious, in a highly-anticipated report launched Wednesday.
The report is the product of an eight-month inquiry and concludes there was no foundation or proof to help Trump’s repeated claims that the election outcomes did not mirror the need of the voters. […]
The report, which was supported by each Republican on the committee, was clear: “This Committee discovered no proof of widespread or systematic fraud in Michigan’s prosecution of the 2020 election.”
In response, the Cyber Ninjas vowed to spend the following six months analyzing the Oversight Committee’s report for bamboo fibers from a secluded cabin in Montana. Oh, and if somebody has a second, they want one other pallet of beer flown in. (Saving democracy certain duz make ya thirsty!)
CHEERS to sinking your Marxist tentacles into the material of this nice nation of ours. My god, Buffalo, what have you ever accomplished? In Tuesday’s mayoral race, shock and awe flowed just like the waters over Niagara Falls as voters wearing rubber George Soros fits elected a—cowl your kids’s ears—socialist. Her identify is India Walton, and here’s some of what her radical agenda has in store for her city:
“Our platform is centered on individuals and rooted in love, with the idea that fairness and justice are important. We consider in love for neighborhood, respect for tradition and reverence of assets. We consider that housing, healthcare, wholesome meals and a top quality training are primary human rights; and once we put money into our neighborhood, we create the circumstances the place all residents really feel valued and may thrive.
Buffalo is wealthy in assets. From our waterfront location to our fantastic arts and cultural neighborhood, it has many financial engines. We envision a Buffalo the place individuals are housed, wholesome, and have the company to dwell to their full potential.”
And since Republicans could not discover a candidate to run within the major, Ms. Walton is a shoo-in to turn into Buffalo’s first feminine mayor, and the primary socialist mayor of a serious metropolis in 60 years. Simply make the socialist snowplows run on time, ma’am, and you will be golden.
WHOOPS to pissing off the incorrect individuals. 145 years in the past this week, in 1876, Common George Armstrong Custer and his seventh Cavalry met their Waterloo on the Battle of Little Bighorn in Montana. Moments after the taking pictures stopped, a corporal arrived on the scene with an pressing message from HQ: “Duck!” Destiny is a merciless grasp.
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
JEERS to the god squad that could not shoot straight. Dudes in attire who schtup altar boys and taught for tons of of years that the solar revolved across the earth now say they’ve an issue with President Biden. Do tell…
U.S. Catholic bishops overwhelmingly accredited the drafting of a “educating doc” that a lot of them hope will rebuke Catholic politicians, together with President Joe Biden, for receiving Communion regardless of their help for abortion rights. […]
Supporters of the measure mentioned a powerful rebuke of Biden was wanted due to his latest actions defending and increasing abortion entry, whereas opponents warned that such motion would painting the bishops as a partisan power throughout a time of bitter political divisions throughout the nation.
I hate to throw holy water on their little morality bonfire, however here is the deal, hand to God, no joke, as my mom used to say: Joe’s obtained 78 years value of communion credit socked away in his Heaven Airways account. He is good to go, first-class all the best way up. You guys within the purple hats, alternatively? If I have been you I might be investing in asbestos bloomers for the journey down. Bless yer hearts.
CHEERS to the nineteenth century comeback child. Grover Cleveland ran this loopy republic from 1885 to 1889, sat on the sidelines for 4 years after dropping to Benjamin Harrison, after which bounced again to wrangle the White Home for one more time period in 1892, making him each #22 and #24 within the historical past books. And verify this out: whereas Lincoln has to make do with the $5 invoice and Washington solely will get the buck, Cleveland will get the friggin’ grand…
Anyway, he shuffled off his mortal coil 113 years ago today and to date he hasn’t bounced again from that. However as a clever zombie as soon as mentioned: “By no means say die.”
Ten years in the past in C&J: June 24, 2011
JEERS to water, water all over the place. My worst nightmares nearly at all times contain water—water coming by way of the roof, smashing by way of the home windows, rising from the ground, waves chasing me quicker than I can run, reducing off my escape, leaving me stranded. Fuckin’ hate it. However contemplating what is going on on in Minot, North Dakota, I ought to shut up and stop whining:
The Souris River’s full weight hit Minot on Friday, swamping an estimated 2,500 houses because it soared almost 4 ft in lower than a day and overwhelmed the town’s levees. Metropolis officers mentioned they anticipated greater than 4,000 houses to be flooded by day’s finish.
Greater than 1 / 4 of the town’s 40,000 residents evacuated earlier this week, packing any belongings they hoped to save lots of into vehicles, vans and trailers.
Be happy to shout at clouds this weekend, Minot—you earned it.
And only one extra…
CHEERS to singin’ in church. As President Biden announces a major new initiative to crack down on violent crime, we word that six years in the past this week, whereas eulogizing the recently-murdered Rev. Clementa Pinckney at Charleston, South Carolina‘s Emanuel A.M.E. Church, President Barack Obama paused for the longest time. You may hear a pin drop, it obtained so quiet. Was he too choked as much as go on? Had he misplaced his place in his sermon? Had he, after consoling so many different audiences within the wake of gun massacres, merely run out of f*cks to provide?
Not fairly. He was simply winding as much as ship an emotional grand finale from his soul that may as soon as once more show why he’ll at all times be positioned within the high ranks of all of the presidents. Watch because the faces behind him gentle up…
His speedy successor, who by no means bothered to be taught the phrases to the nationwide anthem or God Bless America, not to mention Superb Grace, botched each try—I can depend the variety of occasions on one hand and nonetheless have some fingers left over—to consolation households who misplaced family members to gun violence. (As much as and together with slapping his autograph on giant photos of dead victims.) I assume if you wish to present you may have a coronary heart, it’s important to…y’know…have a coronary heart.
Have a pleasant Thursday. Ground’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about right now?
Right this moment’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
Billie Eilish Apologizes After Surfaced Video Reveals Her Splashing in Cheers and Jeers Kiddie Pool: “I Am Appalled and Embarrassed and Need to Barf”